Tuesday, December 13, 2005
bad night
Yesterday's entry:
Cheryl Alicia Kequn Ziquan and I went to visit the Singapore Casket. We didn't get much information than expected. Then went Serangoon's Mcdonald to use the wireless lan for more research. The guys weren't of much help, neither was I. Alicia and Cheryl did most of the talking and suggesting. I was tired to think, sigh.
Then after, I met Joann out to Heartland mall. Bought a bag for myself. Yes that added to my countless number of bags. I expected a lecture from my mother and I was 0.5 right. She talked hopelessly about it, haha.
Alright, then the worst night came. My father was speaking ill of a christain sis, the one who went around bitching at people's back. Mummy and I were against his comments to her. Not that we stood by her but we didn't like the way he talked about it. This sis has attitude indeed (married and has 3 kids), and Daddy LOVES to link that to me. Bloody. I talked back like he was real useless (I still think he is) he banged the table and shouted at me. I was heated up as if my lungs caught fire. He is really a fark. Argh :(
He knew the Mcdonald incident through my mother. He questioned me about it and BELIEVE that I'm at fault. Saying that it must be either my attitude or my face that sparked the girls' angry minds. I swore I did NOTHING. Okay let it be my face. I'm a potential ah lian what. Also, he talked about my arrogant attitude on basketball courts. He spoke about my overusing of computer. He mentioned about my sms exceeding 1k.
1. I'm not humble enough to stay quiet on basketball court. That is the only place I feel at home. Who keeps their mouth shut at home!
2. No computer, then watch tv meh? At least I can exercise my ten fingers and think more, read words to improve my language, right?
3. So what if i exceed 1k. I pay for my bills, Joann's bill and HIS bill k.
After the one way conversation (I didn't want to continue burning the air, mummy was only beside me), he saw my arrogant face and hit the table again. FARK. Okay to be honest, I felt bad. I shutted my door behind me and messed up the whole room. I threw everything on the floor, pulled the curtains till the one of the rings broke, I wrote with black markers on my door "I hate you, 11-12-2005", I penned down all the fucking stuff I hated about him on a piece of paper. I cursed and swore heavily. I cried too. I think it was due to my illness, my face hands and legs went numbed after gasping for more oxygen. I sniffed HARD, I guess that was called asthma? I dunoe, never had that before.
Seeing me in such a despaired situation, Joann and Joanna joined me in flooding the room. They picked up everything I threw. They believed that I did nothing and is trying to change for the better though at times they still can't stand my attitude. I really find it hard to be good. Mummy is at my side too. Daddy "disowned" me when I was at my 11th year old. He had somebody outside and it tore my mum's heart. I spilled every words of his to that fucking married girl friend. He scolded me like hell for betraying him. We didn't interact for months. If he doesn't want me to be his daughter, by all means. I've never respected him since I was primary six. People became rich from scratch, but we never seem to be improving in financing. We are always tight at our pockets. That's why I yearned to be a millionaire, hoping for a rich man to marry.
Soon he went out of the house. Mummy consoled me with warm words, but little went into my blood. Then .... I slept after packing my room. I enjoyed messing and tidying :)
Today:
In the morning Daddy messaged me sorry and that he was worried about me. I replied without apology. By 2pm, he sms me again. Asking if I'm okay, and he loves me. I didn't bother to type another note.
BIT students went west coast bowling. Many innocents like me thought it was positioned by west coast, where the beach was. Alicia even planned to cycle. West coast bowl was only 3 stops of 963 from our school -.- I bet I would be the clown there.
I saw many balls flying though the air. Loads of thuds and thumps on the marble floor; beaten bottles. STRIKE! SPARE! I enjoyed playing bowling in Time Zone when I was during my primary school, haha. Then won tickets to exchange for cheap items on display.
KA has good players though we didn't win the overall results. Highest was a thousand or 2 plus (KB's) when ours was merely 614. Paul is the best amongst us. Paul, Eric, Mao sen and Joe are potential strikers :) I was tired again. I slept a while when the balls were crushing the bottles non stop. It seemed fun actually.
I'm still reading All that Glitters. I wished that the story will never end, every word touched my heart and the feelings in the plot. Paul Marcus Tate was totally despaired and become real haggard after Ruby left for Beau. I felt sad for him, really. I was moodless after reading the book. Whilst for Beau, he is trying hard to make Ruby's life as good. He loves her a lot. . .
Cheryl Alicia Kequn Ziquan and I went to visit the Singapore Casket. We didn't get much information than expected. Then went Serangoon's Mcdonald to use the wireless lan for more research. The guys weren't of much help, neither was I. Alicia and Cheryl did most of the talking and suggesting. I was tired to think, sigh.
Then after, I met Joann out to Heartland mall. Bought a bag for myself. Yes that added to my countless number of bags. I expected a lecture from my mother and I was 0.5 right. She talked hopelessly about it, haha.
Alright, then the worst night came. My father was speaking ill of a christain sis, the one who went around bitching at people's back. Mummy and I were against his comments to her. Not that we stood by her but we didn't like the way he talked about it. This sis has attitude indeed (married and has 3 kids), and Daddy LOVES to link that to me. Bloody. I talked back like he was real useless (I still think he is) he banged the table and shouted at me. I was heated up as if my lungs caught fire. He is really a fark. Argh :(
He knew the Mcdonald incident through my mother. He questioned me about it and BELIEVE that I'm at fault. Saying that it must be either my attitude or my face that sparked the girls' angry minds. I swore I did NOTHING. Okay let it be my face. I'm a potential ah lian what. Also, he talked about my arrogant attitude on basketball courts. He spoke about my overusing of computer. He mentioned about my sms exceeding 1k.
1. I'm not humble enough to stay quiet on basketball court. That is the only place I feel at home. Who keeps their mouth shut at home!
2. No computer, then watch tv meh? At least I can exercise my ten fingers and think more, read words to improve my language, right?
3. So what if i exceed 1k. I pay for my bills, Joann's bill and HIS bill k.
After the one way conversation (I didn't want to continue burning the air, mummy was only beside me), he saw my arrogant face and hit the table again. FARK. Okay to be honest, I felt bad. I shutted my door behind me and messed up the whole room. I threw everything on the floor, pulled the curtains till the one of the rings broke, I wrote with black markers on my door "I hate you, 11-12-2005", I penned down all the fucking stuff I hated about him on a piece of paper. I cursed and swore heavily. I cried too. I think it was due to my illness, my face hands and legs went numbed after gasping for more oxygen. I sniffed HARD, I guess that was called asthma? I dunoe, never had that before.
Seeing me in such a despaired situation, Joann and Joanna joined me in flooding the room. They picked up everything I threw. They believed that I did nothing and is trying to change for the better though at times they still can't stand my attitude. I really find it hard to be good. Mummy is at my side too. Daddy "disowned" me when I was at my 11th year old. He had somebody outside and it tore my mum's heart. I spilled every words of his to that fucking married girl friend. He scolded me like hell for betraying him. We didn't interact for months. If he doesn't want me to be his daughter, by all means. I've never respected him since I was primary six. People became rich from scratch, but we never seem to be improving in financing. We are always tight at our pockets. That's why I yearned to be a millionaire, hoping for a rich man to marry.
Soon he went out of the house. Mummy consoled me with warm words, but little went into my blood. Then .... I slept after packing my room. I enjoyed messing and tidying :)
Today:
In the morning Daddy messaged me sorry and that he was worried about me. I replied without apology. By 2pm, he sms me again. Asking if I'm okay, and he loves me. I didn't bother to type another note.
BIT students went west coast bowling. Many innocents like me thought it was positioned by west coast, where the beach was. Alicia even planned to cycle. West coast bowl was only 3 stops of 963 from our school -.- I bet I would be the clown there.
I saw many balls flying though the air. Loads of thuds and thumps on the marble floor; beaten bottles. STRIKE! SPARE! I enjoyed playing bowling in Time Zone when I was during my primary school, haha. Then won tickets to exchange for cheap items on display.
KA has good players though we didn't win the overall results. Highest was a thousand or 2 plus (KB's) when ours was merely 614. Paul is the best amongst us. Paul, Eric, Mao sen and Joe are potential strikers :) I was tired again. I slept a while when the balls were crushing the bottles non stop. It seemed fun actually.
I'm still reading All that Glitters. I wished that the story will never end, every word touched my heart and the feelings in the plot. Paul Marcus Tate was totally despaired and become real haggard after Ruby left for Beau. I felt sad for him, really. I was moodless after reading the book. Whilst for Beau, he is trying hard to make Ruby's life as good. He loves her a lot. . .