Saturday, September 18, 2004
Again and again. Stupid.
Same thing happened today. He haunts me again and again. Haiz. How. I cant stop thinking about him leh. How. I hate this but I cant control. How and why. I dun understand. Haiz. Today, Ms Wong said that many failed their Emaths paper very badly. Then she called for the Amaths students to stay back and talked to them. Wanting to give them Amaths remedial tomorrow. Haiz. I thought I could use that as a reason to see him for all these while. But I guess the luck fairy isnt with me. All CCAs (most) are transferred to Fridays. And he came for NCC and wushu today. Wushu is performing for the Lantern Festival. I think he can see his fun sister also le. Sad. I'm very disappointed. Really. Though Spore is only a red dot on the globe, it is still as big. I live in Hougang and he lives in Woodlands. If I realy want to see him, where? Not even BWLS. Haiz. I miss him again and again. I thought I'm strong but I think that's only for a period of time. When I'm having fun, I think I no need him at all. But when I'm bored and lonely, yes. It is him that I miss. Why huh? I asked Leslie and all he told me is "It's lidat de. I also got feel this way before". One thing is to avoid. But I duwan to avoid leh. I really duwan to. My mummy asked me to throw everything that is related to him. I din. I still keep it nicely in my drawers. Still hoping that he'll come back for me. Why huh, why am I doing all these stupid and silly things? Then when I ask my friends why I'm lidat, then all that they answer me is that I need time. No, time dun really heel completely. He avoids me and I duwan to avoid him. He hates me and I duwan to hate him. I think Poly does changes people afterall. And bottomline of this matter, all guys are the same.