Monday, September 06, 2004
15th day we broke.
This morning Daddy brought us to Sim Lim Square. Haiz.. That place was where I went with Terence too. I met him after sch and went there. He wanted to look for his mp3 armband. Then the stock was too ex ba. So we went home without buying anything. We took the wrong bus and ended up taking another bus around SP. I dun really like to go to that kinda places, but it's his interest too. So I dun mind accompanying him. Haha. Haiz. Daddy shopped for SMART.TV. Dunoe what sai lai de. He say can transfer the video from tape to the CD. Haha.. I walked around and had images of me and him holding hands and talking away. That was nice.. Really. I miss those times. And I'm afraid that there wun be any chance of holding his hand anymore.. Haiz. Now I think le also feel like crying. But Mummy in the same room with me now.. Why am I missing someone who dun give a damn about me? Haha.. Why. I'm like locking myself up in a stuffy room. Zzz. Then it rained. I saw couples struggling to use a small umbrella. When I see it, I miss him again. Kaoz.. Really. I remembered that time when I got Guides camp. It was raining. That morning he went home from school, rest a while then brought umbrella to fetch me home. I was very touched by him. When I walked pass my friends, I really feel like slowing down my pace, showing Terence off to them.. Terence even helped me to carry bags and all. That moment when I held him by his arms and walked, I felt very warm. And that I love him a lot. Wahh~ Sian. I feel so empty though I just finished a full dinner. ~>.<~ When can all these 'missing-you' stop? I want to tell him that I love him. I really duwan to lose him leh. Serious. I would do anything.. I dunoe.. I just love him a lot. And today is the 15th day we broke. 2 weeks and 1 day. I wonder how's he.. I couldnt ask.. I was told to find him back some time later, but when? 2 weeks and a day... It seems to be 2 years and 1 month. And I hadnt been too good.. With things go wrong, I'll be very tensed and angry. I just scolded my sis in public. Zzz.. She's spending way too much money. Fancy a pri4 kid having a HI-CARD phone with her. Keep asking Daddy for money to buy this buy that. Zzz.. Before breaking up with him, I've been 'nice' and having lotsa patience. I had. Now no more. He's more or less the reason why I'm lidat. Dun ask me why. I also dunoe. I loved him and love him as much. It doesnt havte to be this way. He could bring sunshine to my winter days and bring me back to life... If I could hug him now, I wouldnt let go. And.... I dunoe. I'll die without any regrets.