Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Johnson's birthday.
30-August-2004, Johnson's birthday. Haha. That crappy guy. Alicia Sinyee and I got for him a Converse bottle. Nice leh. Haha.. Early in the morning, I was still tying hair while talking to Ronald about the Chinese. Then came Sufian and Jonathan shouting across the science block, 'Happy Birthday To Johnson!' Haha.. Then I rushed out to see. No Johnson in sight. Haha, then I asked where he is. Then was told that he's hiding behind the bushes. Haha, cute. Lol. Then things went on la. Haha.. During assembly, we went to Campus1 and had the d/t talk. The teacher very funny and asked the sec2s to choose d/t next year. Then Weiliang they all were there asking us to see Mrs Singh face. Haha.. Lol, Tuckyong and friends got for Johnson a big piano toy I think. Johnson likes music and sports mah, from Band and Basketball, haha. But guess what, the present was wrapped in pink *his fave color, with a pretty flower there. Haha, he very paiseh lor. You all should see his face ah. Red red pink pink de. Haha.. Then he very paiseh de hold that present. Lol, wondered how to go home later. Lol, take taxi lor? Haha.. Dunoe la.. Today he king in the class. He very funny lor.. Very paiseh that kind. Ohh yea.. Eugene they all got for him a PPR [pupils progress sheet]. Sexuality intelligence, A1 and a lot more la. Then say what he very clever le, can get to SCGS. Haha.. I din see it. Alicia tell me de. Haha.. I asked from him, then he say later de. Then after, I forgot. Lol. Haha.. In school, I feel a lot better as I've got a lot of friends to joke and play with. When I'm lonely at home, sitting in front of the computer, it is him that I think of again. Wondering if he still got think of me a not. His nick put that he changed hairstyle. I want to see leh. I want to touch him.. =X Zzz. All fantasy ba. Lonliness up ahead, emptiness behind. Tell me, where should I go? Where! I really dunoe leh. The more I see his nick, the more itchy my heart gets. When he dun come online, I'll be wondering what's he doing, if things are going well for him a not. Lol, silly right. Caring for someone who dun love me and yet hurting me. Haha.. Why am I still feeling in such a manner? Does it means that I still love him? Sometimes I really think that I dun need him at all. But, I guess that was for a short while ba? I think I still need him? I need someone for me to rely on. Really leh. I may seem strong willed at times. But right inside was weakness and saddness. No one knows it right? Haha, I good actress mah. Lol, last night I listened to the Sha Gua Qing Ren.. I sang along and soon, I heard my voice changing. Yea, sad again lor. Then cried a bit ba? Haha, but I managed not to let my tears fall. He's the only one who can stop my tears from flowing, but he was the cause of the flood diaster. Why. Lol, One Sided Love? Why good things dun stay by me for long de? This is his lost, or my lost? He lost someone who loves and cares a lot for him; but I lost someone whom I really love and care too! Who is at the losing end? He dun feel any bad, but I feel more than being miserable. He seemed to be taking things easily. How I wish I could also do the same! Tell me, my dear friends! What should I do!? I couldn't forget him, at all. No, time can't help healing it. No, not at all. Everything that I think of and say, links to him. Why. I had a lot of butterflies and bees flying in my stomache when I see him and my heart taking a slide at the playground whenever I see his name, hear about things concerning about him. WHY! Zzz! I want to stop loving him, but I cant. Is this true one sided love? Does 'happily ever after' exists in only fairy tales? Does a high ego guy go back on his words? How to stop loving him? My dear friends, please reply me and clear my doubts please.. =S *feeling low.